When Nothing Is “Wrong”
But Everything Feels Different
With decades under my belt, I feel like I’ve lived many different lives, been different versions of me. And while I am still me, I am also different.
The memories of the child I once was are faint, the teenager has been gone a long time, and while I will be a mother for the rest of my life, what that looks like is changing too.
Life is change and transition. It’s normal. It’s meant to happen.
Many falter at change.
Life was once certain under your feet.
These are my routines.
This is who I am.
It looks the same, day after day, week after week.
But even when things feel so predictable, dependable even, eventually life begins to shift.
It’s natural, we have seasons just like nature.
But in the fall when the leaves are dropping from the trees, the trees don’t assume something is wrong with them. They don’t question their worth and try to tape the leaves back on. This is the normal cycle of life and the leaves must fall.
But a woman in midlife isn’t a tree.
And we live in a society that absolutely glorifies youth.
When she begins transitioning into the next version of herself, it can feel disorienting, disturbing even.
The shift can be gradual, so much so that at first you deny it is happening at all.
You begin to recognize that things are different, that you are different, but you’re not even sure what that means.
It’s not always comfortable to step into a new identity.
Who even are you now?
What does it mean?
There is confusion as the things that were once right, just aren’t anymore.
I used to do this and it was fine.
I used to like this.
I used to BE like this.
But you know in your heart, it isn’t the same anymore.
If it isn’t the same, what is it?
It’s like you’re climbing a mountain, but you haven’t reached the top yet, you can’t see what’s beyond. You don’t know what to expect when you get there.
Unfortunately, in your case, there is no map, no guarantee of what the view is going to look like.
You feel a bit off in your body, and it’s not just the changing shape or extra pounds.
You feel it in your nervous system, unsettled. During periods of uncertainty, your body goes into fight or flight mode. When you’re in the midst of an identity shift - a change you didn’t ask for, might not want, and don’t fully understand - your brain sends out signals of distress and your nervous system jumps in to protect you.
The thing is, your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a physical threat and an identity shift. It only sees uncertainty, and uncertainty feels unsafe.
The unsafe feeling can also begin to wake up old emotions, other times in life that felt unsafe. You may not recognize these as old, because the sensations feel very real in the moment.
Many women will think this is their intuition trying to tell them something is wrong, when it is actually the emotional residue of past conflicts being reawakened, the accumulated tension of decades of responsibility beginning to unravel.
This is often the moment when old layers are ready to release. But most women will tighten and close down because they don’t truly understand what is happening.
When we shut down around emotion, it stays stored in the body until it is once again awakened by a similar feeling. When it rises again, it feels current, even though it isn’t.
We close to these sensations in the fear that they will never go away.
This can make you feel as though there must be something wrong with you, even though life is normal all around you.
But what if nothing is wrong?
You’re in the space between.
Between the old version of you and the one you haven’t yet become. You’ve opened a door and you’re being given the opportunity to let go of old identities that don’t need to accompany you into this next stage of life.
You can feel that there is something new forming, but you don’t know exactly what it looks like yet.
Meanwhile, life continues to move around you. You still need to keep up with the demands of daily life. You’ve got to continue your work. The dog needs to be walked. The floor needs to be swept. The bills have to be paid. The laundry needs to be done.
The routines of your daily life haven’t actually changed. You have.
The thing that feels uncertain is inside.
But midlife is not a crisis.
It is a threshold.
And thresholds require release.
What if nothing is wrong, but something new is forming?
And the discomfort isn’t a sign of failure, but an invitation to release what no longer fits?
If this feels like your season, I’m here. I offer a limited number of complimentary Emotional Breakthrough Sessions for women in transition who are ready to step forward lighter and more grounded. You can simply reply and we’ll connect.
Living the Game of Life Community
In the Living the Game of Life community on Skool we’ve been meeting live on Monday evenings, going through The Game of Life and How to Play It one chapter at a time.
I have come to love our Monday night calls! They are a highlight of the week.
We’ve had deep conversations, realizations and we even watched as one of our members received a check while we were on the call (talk about shifting beliefs around abundance)!
This week we’re looking at Chapter 6 “Casting the Burden.”
You don’t have to read the chapter to come and have a great experience at the call. Having read the chapter will just enhance your experience of the conversation we have, but we want you to come whether you’ve read or not.
If you still need to pick up a copy of the book, you can find it on Amazon.
In order to project the authority you desire in your message, you must process the emotion and share from an embodied state, rather than a raw one. Raw storytelling can come across as justification, while integrated storytelling sounds like an invitation to the reader.
The problem is that most people were never taught how to fully process the emotions that come with life’s challenges, leaving them in a sort of limbo state between the challenge and the wisdom they’ve gained.
This is an excerpt from an article I wrote for The Published Voice. You can read the entire article here.
The Midlife Reinvention Summit
Coming up I’ll be speaking at The Midlife Reinvention Summit. The dates have changed, so I don’t have the new dates yet, but I’ll let you know as soon as I do.
I’ll be speaking on one of my favorite topics”
Freedom Begins with Letting Go
So many people reach midlife feeling the urge to reinvent—but struggle to move forward because they’re still carrying the emotional weight of past pressures, identities, and expectations. In this session, we’ll explore why true freedom begins, not with doing more, but with releasing what no longer fits who you’re becoming.
You’ll learn how unprocessed emotions can shape your choices, drain your energy, and cloud your clarity—and how gentle, intentional release creates the inner space needed for renewal. Through real-life insight and simple practices, you’ll discover how to let go with compassion, trust yourself again, and step into your next chapter feeling lighter, clearer, and more aligned.
Reinvention begins within. This is where you start.
I believe you can still sign up and they’ll let you know when they’ve firmed up the dates. It’s free to attend, so I’d love to see you there!
I had an interview with Jay Johnson for the Harness the Shift Podcast last week! We had a great conversation. I’m not sure when it will be live, but I’ll be sure to share it. In the meantime, check out the podcast here.
Have a great week!
Love,
Lesley