The Wrong Decision
Or a choice that led to the right places...
Sometimes a decision that feels right in the moment doesn’t take you where you expected.
Does that make it the wrong decision?
Not really. More often than not, it’s simply the next step on your path or a necessary move to get you into the position you need to be in.
The challenge is that we’re living life from the ground level. We can only see what’s directly in front of us.
The Master Chess Player, the one with the higher view, sees many moves ahead. He knows how each seemingly small step fits into the bigger strategy.
We can’t see what’s being lined up for us in the distance…possibilities so far away we couldn’t begin to imagine them yet.
So, just because a choice doesn’t take you where you thought it would doesn’t mean it was wrong. It may have been the perfect vehicle for that moment in time.
In 2013, we were living in Charleston, SC. I found a kiln that someone was selling. I hadn't done pottery in years but loved the idea that I could have my own kiln and get back into it.
I was so excited that I forgot that I had a full-time job and two small children.
I forgot that when I was doing pottery, I would go to the studio for stretches that lasted hours.
I forgot that it isn't something you can jump in and out of. Clay dries out, and there is lots and lots of clean-up to be done.
I was not in a season of my life where this was realistic for me.
The kiln was placed before me, and I got excited and bought it.
When I was loading it up into the back of my car, it ripped the fabric.
Every time I looked at that ripped fabric, I felt a little guilty that I had bought it. Especially when reality hit me and I knew that I wasn't actually going to use it.
Finally, I decided we needed to let it go. I put it up for sale, and a gentleman contacted me through email about coming to see it. I sent the email to my partner, Johnny, and asked him to handle it. I wasn't comfortable with making arrangements for a strange man to come to my house to look at the kiln without him.
In the end, the man came over to check out the kiln while I was at work.
Johnny hit it off with him. In fact, they became great friends. The kind of friends that feel like family.
This man, also named John, was old enough to be Johnny's father and soon became like a father figure to him, something I've realized is very valuable to him, having lost his own father when he was just 21.
It took a bit of distance before I started to realize that me buying that kiln was never a mistake. There was nothing to feel guilty about.
Even though it ripped the fabric in the back of our car, even though I never used it. It was through buying that kiln that an important, lifelong relationship was formed.
We would never have met him if we hadn't bought the kiln, never used it, and then sold it.
But I couldn't have known any of that when I bought it. It took a long time for that realization to hit me.
Looking back, you can see how one thing leads to another. None of them are mistakes.
Seeming mistakes still teach you something and take you somewhere. The more we can lean in early and trust that things are taking us to the right places, the less we burden ourselves with feelings of guilt and shame for wrong choices.
But when you’re looking ahead, you can’t see how it all comes together. You don’t yet know how each experience is moving you toward the next piece of the puzzle.
Even the paths that seem to lead nowhere, the mistakes, can be necessary.
They’re not wasted.
They’re not wrong.
They’re part of the journey.
Learn to listen to your intuition when you make your decisions and then make them fully and with trust, even when things don't go the way you anticipated.
I'd love to hear from you.
Where have you made a 'wrong' decision, that took you to the 'right' place?
Love,
Lesley
Want to dig into decision making further?
In the Living the Game of Life community, this month’s workshop is The Alchemy of Choice: Turning Intuition into Action.
We'll dig into connecting to our intuition and making choices from a place of faith and alignment so that you can move forward with clarity and courage.
Reach out if you want the details!