Stepping Beyond Fear
Trusting Yourself Again in Midlife
Life is risky. That’s just a part of it.
We can’t be so rational about things as to eliminate all risk — because in the elimination of risk, we would end up never doing anything at all. And that’s a clear sign of not trusting yourself.
The modern world praises logic. It makes sense to make logical decisions — it’s logical.
But trust doesn’t always depend on logic. Then it wouldn’t really be trust, would it…
Often, leaning into trust is about leaning into intuition. Trusting yourself often means listening to that still, small voice within — and that voice doesn’t always speak with a logical tone.
Trust and the Voice Within
Trusting our intuition is trusting ourselves, and it’s also trusting God.
I believe that intuition is one of the primary ways God speaks to us. When we connect with our intuition, we are connecting with the Divine — with that mysterious wisdom that doesn’t always operate in the realm of logic.
We begin to erode our sense of trust when we stop listening to that voice. The more we second-guess ourselves, the harder it becomes to make decisions. We get caught in a vortex of uncertainty — and yet, that’s part of the challenge of being human.
We can never have full certainty about the future. Life is uncertain, and it’s risky.
But we can learn to trust ourselves despite that uncertainty — and every time we do, we build a deeper foundation of trust.
Fear, Risk, and Resilience
Fear often arises because we don’t know what the outcome will be.
From where we sit in the present moment, we can’t possibly know how things will turn out. We only find out after we take the risk and do the thing. And in order to take that risk, we must trust ourselves first.
That trust doesn’t mean everything will always work out. It means trusting that you’ll be okay even if it doesn’t.
Trust that you can pivot.
Trust that you can change your mind.
Trust that you have the resilience to weather any storm that might come.
Fear is a natural, normal part of life — but it can’t be the part that makes the decisions.
We have to trust ourselves to make good decisions, and to know that even when things don’t pan out as expected, we’ll find our footing again.
The Weight of Experience
By midlife, you’ve collected a great deal of experiences.
The young cannot yet fathom what happens as the decades add up — just as I can’t yet fathom what it will be like to double my own lifetime. I often say I feel like I’ve lived many lives already — and yet, I know there are many lifetimes still to come.
But not all of those experiences are beautiful or joyful.
Mixed in with them are failures, embarrassments, and heartbreaks.
Life doesn’t come from just one direction — it brings both pleasure and pain, growth and loss, success and setback.
The early years are marked by rapid growth and learning — so much squeezed into such a short time frame. That’s why teenagers think they know so much: they’ve only just moved beyond knowing so little, and they don’t yet realize how much more there is to know.
Our culture celebrates youth, despite its inexperience. But the attributes of youth are fleeting. With time comes something much more enduring — wisdom.
The Midlife Crossroads
For some reason, midlife and beyond have been seen as “less than.”
Ignoring our growing wisdom, we lament the fading beauty of youth.
We allow the voices of society to make us feel diminished by age, as if the best years are behind us.
We focus so much on our misfortunes, mistakes, and failures that we let them hold us in bondage — forgetting that struggle is part of the game.
We lose trust in ourselves through the weight of past disappointments and a body that no longer feels the same.
We begin to believe life is over long before it actually is.
But here’s the truth: life isn’t over. It’s just beginning again.
Midlife is a new chapter — one built upon the wisdom of everything you’ve lived. In this new life, you can shed the layers of past failures without judgment or guilt. You can take the lessons, leave the weight, and move forward — not starting over, but starting from experience.
Rebuilding Trust in Midlife
It can be scary to step out in a world that glorifies youth, especially in this connected, fast-moving age — one humanity has never lived in before.
So how do we begin to trust ourselves again, when it’s easy to list all the ways we’ve fallen short?
How do we trust ourselves when the world keeps spotlighting younger success stories taunting you with the idea, “If you haven’t made it yet, you never will”?
Trust is built little by little, over time.
If you’ve reached midlife, you already have plenty of trust-building experiences to look back on — you’ve just been ignoring them in favor of your shortcomings.
Take time to create a true inventory of your experiences.
Notice the times you succeeded, followed through, held your boundaries, stood up for yourself.
For every challenge you faced, ask what it taught you. There are blessings hidden inside even your hardest moments.
Trust, Step, and Listen Within
As you move forward, begin listening again to the still, small voice of wisdom — not the inner critic who tears you down, but the woman who has lived and learned.
When it’s time to make a decision, check in with your body.
What sensations arise?
Is that fear you’re feeling dread — or excitement? (They can feel surprisingly similar.)
Don’t say yes to everything.
Check in first.
And when it’s a no — say no without apology or excuse. Let your “no” stand alone. Own it.
When you make a mistake — because you will — don’t let it define you.
Look for the lesson. Maybe it was a necessary one. Maybe it taught you how your intuition truly speaks.
In midlife, rebuilding trust doesn’t have to take long. But it does have to be intentional.
It won’t rebuild itself while you hide in fear.
Take a deep breath.
Listen within.
Make the decision.
You’ll find your edges as you go. They’re not failures — just feedback.
Join the Living the Game of Life Community on Skool.
This is a space for us to go deeper and have conversations about the topics that are approached here. October’s focus is trust/faith over fear. This month, we’re having weekly calls on Monday mornings to connect, set our intentions for the week ahead, and focus on Living the Game Well!
Curious where you are on your journey?
Take my free quiz: What’s Your Midlife Reawakening Archetype? You’ll discover your unique strengths, challenges, and the next best step to design a chapter of life that feels authentic and fulfilling.